Welcome to America’s Finest City. We find animals from other places and then refer to them as “wild”. We also like to keep our killer whales in swimming pools. Our baseball team plays in a park named after a pet food store. You can’t bring your pets. But you can bring your kids. On a leash is fine; otherwise they may run on the field and get tackled by a man in a yellow jacket. This man makes ten bucks an hour. He dreams of tackling children. It takes two innings to sober up. The cops don’t agree.